My calling…

I became pregnant with my daughter in 2011 and I began to ponder childbirth. I stumbled upon a film called “The Business of Being Born” produced by Ricki Lake. This film highlighted the ugly truths behind modern medicalization of birthing which at one time was sacred, natural and happened at home. That was the beginning of my spiritual journey. 

I ultimately decided on a natural water birth and found a birthing center and hired a doula. My medical providers, insurance carrier, and most family and friends weren’t exactly on board with natural birth, but my intuition led the way. I was able to circumvent the medical industry for the most part and achieve a natural birth according to my birth plan. My doula supported me in those moments when I wanted to throw in the towel on “natural” and waddle on over to the hospital across the street! With her support, I was able to remain connected with my body and breath, as it instinctively knew what to do. The experience was beautiful, intimate, quiet and sacred. I had to trust though. That’s not always easy when we are suffering or in pain.

Fast forward 10 years later and I find myself sitting bedside with my father where he is dying with dementia and liver failure. Contemplating the modern medicalization of dying, which like birthing, was at one time sacred, natural and happened at home. I see his dying slowly and unfolding before my eyes. And also much like birthing, the body instinctively knows what to do. When I notice a decline, I get the urge to intervene, to call someone, to do something about his dying. We just repaired our relationship. I want more time. But my heart reminds me that I’m grieving and what he needs is love, support, and light. He’s had enough chaos in his life. He needs a witness to his life and death, he needs to know that he will not be forgotten. He deserves a good death. He deserves to be honored and held as his physical body dies.

Dying is hard. I mean dying is literally and physically hard. Our loved ones deserve to be held and supported during their dying time. And it’s so hard to do when shock and fear are driving the bus. When we have no relationship with death, haven’t prepared for it or thought of it much, the focus shifts from supporting the death journeyer to what we need and how we feel about it. This wisdom, isn’t often taught and learning this has brought me clarity and is the driving force behind my work as a Death Doula.

My goal is to support and empower people during the dying process by reintroducing death as a sacred event and a rite of passage. My goal is to continue learning and empowering others to know death, to befriend her, and to figure out their beliefs about death and the afterlife. My goal is to offer strength and honesty to grieving loved ones and to hold space until they can carry their loved ones themselves. My goal is to share education on topics like conscious dying, alternatives to cemeteries and the role of a death doula.

It is through our senses that we connect and it becomes personal. If we don’t know what it’s like to harvest food, birth our babies, prioritize curiosity and bury our dead, it’s not personal.  I feel obligated to the preservation of ancient wisdom, soil health and to humanity. I look forward to connecting with you as we rediscover our potential and purpose and pass it on down to future generations.